SUCCESS!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FINALLY COMPLETED ROLLERCOASTER 3D WITH FIVE STARS FOR ALL 30 TRACKS AFTER 6 HOURS 28 MINUTES AND 21 SECONDS!!! (u can tell ive been working hard these holidays). YES!!!!

i must have spent like 2 hours at least trying to get that final star on some anal track. i needed 3200 points but i was on 3174 and then i got every single jump correctly and it felt so good. i ended up getting 3207 points WHOS YOUR DADDY ROLLERCOASTER 3D?!?!?!?

That is all.

P.S. this whole post is safe from that's what she said

IT'S CHRISTMAS?!?!?!?!?

wow. today i didnt even know it was christmas until i went on fb and everyone was saying merry christmas. i remember the days when i used to get all excited by christmas and when i woke up on christmas day i could feel it was christmas. this is probably the first year i forgot it was christmas. i even did work today. not a lot but still I DID MATH ON CHRISTMAS! wow. fml

Office Quote of the Day: In the end, the best snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas everybody.

That is all.

FRIDAY

I'm using my grandparent's computer in Malaysia now which is pretty cool. I don't feel too well because I've taken four flights in one week (From Auckland-Sydney-Melbourne-Kuala Lumpur-Sibu, had to go to Melbourne to get on the cheaper flight.) For some reason I've become really sensitive to the dry and dust-filled atmosphere inside airplanes. Luckily the humidity in Malaysia is ridiculously high so stepping out of the plane literally felt like plunging into a warm bathtub. I'm mildly jet-lagged too, though I'm having more sleep now than I've had in months.

Anyway, Malaysia's a pretty cool place. I've said this lots but it has a distinct smell because all the drains are left open so there's these big ditches along the roads filled with stagnant water. Malaysian traffic is also pretty ridiculous. We took a taxi from the airport who went at least 40km/h over the speed limit yet we were still getting overtaken. Also, all the roads (even the major motorways) are really uneven from the hot and humid weather and so driving is always an adventure. Today, I also got to see some genuine slums, with real poor people. I would've taken some photos but it didn't feel very appropriate.

Everything here is pretty cheap too. I just saw Tron in cinemas today for $3, though it had Chinese/Malay subtitles. Apart from that, I'm enjoying the exotic surrounds. You can get starfruit here, which I really like as well as fresh coconuts.

I've only been here three days so that's all I have to say. I might put off blogging about Cadet Annual when I get back to Australia because I don't want to use too much of my grandparent's precious 3G data usage. Merry Christmas guys.

so embarassed

so today i went with my mum out to borrow a book, but then the library was closed so we went shopping instead. so we're looking at a soap rack and suddenly my mum just farts really loudly. naturally everyone turns their heads towards our direction and i was SO EMBARRASSED. like seriously i just took two steps away from my mum and tried to hide my face. and the thing is she didnt even hold back, like you could tell that there she didnt try to cover it up or anything. it wasnt a tiny brrp, it was a HUMUNGOUS BRBRAJGKBASHFBAJSFHBASGNB. my mum just kept walking though, like nothing ever happened. We didnt end up buying anything.

That is all.

Comedy books

Have you ever noticed how there are like no comedy books? Like seriously, throughout my long and illustrious book reading career i have only ever seen four: Barry Trotter, Yes Man and some random book in the library (informative i know). Is it that people who read books are humourless robots or is it that the people who write them are humourless robots. Since i occasionally read books, i like to think that the robots are doing the writing.

That is all.

REALLY EARLY WEDNESDAY

I was going to write about Annual today but I wasted my entire day. Woke up at about 11, rewatched Lord of the Rings, did some other stuff I can't remember and then finished reading the Scott Pilgrim comic series (Which is really good. I haven't seen the movie yet.) I have to leave for the airport again in about 3.5 hours time, so I'm going to try and get some sleep now.

Change in Site Address

I've changed the URL of the site to try and shake off the random spam in the cbox. I've also replaced the cbox with a different one that lets me delete stuff in case that doesn't work. Unfortunately, the URL doesn't make any sense now but I think it's kind of cool.

Anyway, I just got back from Cadet Annual and it's pretty late because I got into bed and didn't want to go out because its so much better than sleeping bags. Will probably post tomorrow (or technically, later today) because I have to leave for Malaysia on Wednesday, which is pretty crazy shit.

I AM BORED

To the one reader in Bangkok, today is your lucky day because its a double post!

forgot to mention that i watched Due Date the other day. It was pretty funny. Imagine The Hangover with only Robert Downey Jr. and the bearded guy with more masturbation jokes. Really this movie is only for people who like masturbation jokes cos those are the funniest bits. Oh and also a scene at the end involving a black baby. On the whole pretty funny, i thought funnier than the hangover (which i didnt really like) but somehow not as funny as something like tropic thunder beacuse it relies on too many masturbation jokes and such.

That is all.

Rollercoaster 3D

So you guys may be wondering what i have been doing in the holidays. or maybe you havent. u probably havent. dont worry if you havent because you're not missing out on much. I think the most exciting thing i have done during these holidays has been to play Rollercoaster 3D on my phone. Currently i am trying to get all five stars for each track. So far i have achieved this for 13 tracks.

Oh and ive also been reading the shipping news. So far, from what i can gather its about knots.
I have also watched blade runner. Pretty disappointing, there is no running on blades whatsoever. For some reason blade runner sounds like a good title for an ice skating movie.

There's also a new movie called The Fighter, with Christian Bale in it. Looks good.

I watch one episode of House a day. I have not watched any episodes of Chuck yet. The office is not airing over the christmas holidays so there probably wont be any quotes for a while.

I'm going to go cut my toenails now.

That is all.

Golden Globe Awards

ok i realise that no one really cares but im really pissed off about the nominations for the golden globes, but hey, nobody's reading this right now anyway. like seriously, Alice in Wonderland got nominated for Best Musical or Comedy Motion Picture. How f****** slow must the year have gone by for musical and comedy's this year? and there were plenty of other good comedy movies as well, like Get Him to the Greek, Date Night, Hot Tub Time Machine, I Love You Phillip Morris. And i havent seen any of the other movies but they look kinda crap too. Apart from All The Kids Are Alright all the other films (Burlesque, The Tourist (what happened to Johnny Depp?)) have a rotten rating on rotten tomatoes. The Tourist has a rating of 19% and it got nominated. NINETEEN PERCENT!!! Well actually the other movie Red has a 70% rating but it looks more like an action movie. i know sometimes rotten tomatoes isnt really an accurate measure of how good a film is but it really is good at calculating the probability that i like a film. so thats my rant for today.

Office Quote of the Day: You know when people say, getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them? I feel sorry for those people. That's? The best thing? Really? Yugh!

That is all.

Asians

(this post applies to ppl with really fobby parents)

Have u ever noticed that whenever you go out with your parents and theyre talking to a white person, they always speak slower, louder and more clearly? And they always repeat words over and over again. It's like white people think all asian people are mentally impaired. Kinda reminds me of the hamish and andy interview with borat:

Andy: So how is life in Kazakhstan? (slowly)

Borat: Why are you talking to me so slow? Are you a retard?

Office Quote of the Day: (the office is playing charades and Dwight has Asian on his head. Pam is trying to tell him who he is)
Pam: Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that i do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
Dwight: (shocked) Aw, man, am I a woman?!

That is all.

End of School

Yay. It's the obligatory celebration for the end of school!!! I actually have sort of mixed feelings about the holidays because i know that ill be spending most of it doing math, physics and chemistry. Also i need to start filming my 4u short film. No school also means i have no excuses to turn on the computer anymore to post. Fortunately i had the foresight to make up various assignments for which i need the computer.

I dont even know why Vincent told me to blog. With Vincent, Tim, Edwin, Stupid Artar and Alex on annual camp ive basically lost 95% of my viewership. The other five is comprised of those randoms who keep posting ads in our cbox to read their blog. And fear not constant readers for i will have limited time to view movies and there will probably be limited movie related posts for the coming weeks.

Since its the end of the year, here's a list of highlights which occured:

1. It was also our year for prefects and they've done a pretty good job...so far. (Apart from the christmas things. What about jews like Taseen and Pop who need to celebrate Hannukah?)
2. It was our year for school musical and it was pretty good to watch.
3. I hit one hundred friends in facebook!
4. Newbies came to our school. And i still havent made any friends.
5.I CROSSED FALKO ADERMANN IN BASKETBALL!!!!
6. We started the HSC. Some might say that this isnt a highlight but i really really enjoyed studying hard for exams and then getting raped.
7. Vincent, Falko, me and lindy did shakespeare which we won and then lost.
8. I CROSSED FALKO ADERMANN IN BASKETBALL!!!!!
9. Inception got released.
10. We got our senior common room, which kinda stinks but its nice to have a couch to sit on.

Office Quote of the Day: My whole life, I believed that America was #1; that was the saying. Not "America is #2", England is #2, and China should be like 8.

That is all.

FRIDAY

Pretty excited about going to annual tomorrow. Straight afterwards, I'll be going to Malaysia. It's possible I might not update until about the 10th of January, so hopefully Louie will start blogging again.

Enjoy the holidays!

WEDNESDAY

Today I got my driver's license. Holy shit. I can imagine that most people found little trouble going through the process. However for me, it was unbelievably nerve racking.

Firstly, there was the problem of booking the DKT (Driver Knowledge Test) in the first place. I accidentally booked for the day before I planned to go and because they don't refund your $38 if you fail to turn up, my parents had to pay for the test twice. That annoyed them a little. I also didn't realise I needed proof of address until I handed my application in. That caused a bit of trouble too.

In the test itself, there's this section of thirty questions where you're only allowed one error. About five questions into the test, I made a mistake. For the past week I've noted how embarassing it would be if I failed the DKT. I mean like, nobody fails right? So you can imagine the pressure I felt when the test suddenly turned to sudden death mode. The low point was about halfway into the test, there was one question I was really unsure about. Fortunately, I got it right but by then I was almost shitting my pants.

I've got my license now. The photo is pretty bad because I'm wearing my PE uniform and I'm not allowed to smile but it could be worse. Straight afterwards, I went to the library and borrowed Easy Rider, an MA15+ movie. When asked for proof of age, I was very happy to show my license. Unfortunately, I can't drive anytime soon because I'll be in New Zealand in two days (holy shit!) and straight afterwards, I'll be going to Malaysia until sometime in January. So it was kind of pointless to get my license now, but I'm very happy I got it over and done with.

MONDAY

Well, exams are over but getting results back has proven more stressful than doing the exams themselves. All the things I looked forward to doing after exams don't seem so fun anymore and instead of adopting a 'Hey it's the end of year, let's bludge!' attitude, school has opted to get straight back to work.

Replaying levels of Crysis Warhead has probably marked the high points of my past few days. I've also managed to watch some movies. Straight after 4U maths, I went with everyone else to see Harry Potter and I thought it was pretty good. I actually felt Dobby's death scene was incredibly sad. At home, I also managed to watch Gattaca, The Seventh Seal and Singin' in the Rain.

Gattaca is a science fiction film, about a future where people are discriminated by their genetic makeup. The protagonist has ambitions of becoming an astronaut but is unable to because of his genes. Straight after his birth, the doctors take a sample of his blood and predict that he has a 99% chance of getting a heart condition and a life expectancy of about 30 years. I actually first watched this movie back in the good old days of commerce with Mr Flood but only saw the first half hour or so. Anyway it's thoughtful stuff with effective cinematography that lends the film a subdued yet uplifting tone.

The Seventh Seal is set in medieval Sweden, where the bubonic plague has taken hold of the country. It begins with a knight striking a deal with Death over a chess game. Their continued game over the course of the movie serves as an engaging plot device. Strong arguments on religious faith and existence are made, which reflect the director's (Ingmar Bergmann) own questioning of God. Sounds difficult to watch but it's an entertaining movie. I'd recommend it to people who like watching this kind of stuff. (I know that sounds kind of stupid, but you know what I mean.)

Leaving my favourite until last, above is a scene from Singin' in the Rain. If there's anyone who feels bad about staying up late, then this video will hopefully make them feel better. (You can watch it without seeing any movie spoilers.) Gene Kelly, who plays the main character here is an unbelievably good tap dancer and there's some seriously cool videos if you look him up on Youtube.

What I Hate About Summer

Everyone seems to love summer. I don't. Here's a list of reasons why:

1. It's hot. Like REALLY HOT. (safe)

2. There are always insects around. Have you noticed most insects come out when it's summer time. Especially mosquitoes. I hate mosquitoes.

3. For some reason I'm not really a fan of sunny weather. No darkness for crime fighting duties.

4. Nights are shorter which mean there is less time for crime fighting duties.

5. Ya mum likes summer.

Office Quote of the Day: I am on the first hot sales streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Ceci because, no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. And let's be honest if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

That is all.

SATURDAY

Another thing I read in the news.

This is a photo of the Arrow Boys, a Sudanese militia group who defend their village against bandits. They use a variety of weapons including firearms, arrow, poisoned darts and anything else they can make or find in the forests.

These bandits are real bastards. They belong to a group known as the Lord's Resistance Army, who once had a purpose but now just murder and steal for survival. One of the local Arrow Boy chiefs Samuel Manase says, "They kill in different ways. Sometimes people are shot dead, other times men are surrounded by a circle of LRA members, beaten to death with clubs. Earlier, I saw men here being chopped up with pangas [machetes]."

While its tragic they have to resort to such measures, these Arrow Boys are amazingly badass. I mean sure, they have armed ten year old boys on patrol but seriously, this story would make a fucking good movie.


Full news article here.

WEDNESDAY

Busy from exams so here's some stuff I read in the news.

If you saw the news this morning you may have heard that there was a massive stampede in Cambodia. It was during a major festival held annually in their capital city Phnom Phen and hundreds of people were cramped on a bridge. For reasons unknown, panic erupted and over 300 people were killed in the stampede.

When I read this, my first reaction was to laugh. How does something like this even happen? You can't really imagine the tragedy and feel sympathetic for something this ridiculous. It's like when you see old photos of the Holocaust, its hard to feel sorry for the Jews because you become desensitised to the piles and piles of barely human-looking bodies.

Anyway, I read on and there were some stories of individual tragedies. Most of the victims were young 18-24 year old girls and there were many grieving mothers. Afterwards, I did feel pretty bad about the whole thing which is why I was compelled to write this post. 300 is a lot of people dead. To put it in perpsective, I barely have 300 Facebook friends.

On a lighter topic, I also saw a picture of this in the newspaper, which I thought was the coolest thing ever.

Also, apparently there's someone in our school called 'Stan Lee'. If anyone knows/sees him, you can tell him he has an awesome name.

FRIDAY

I haven't gone on the computer for the last four days. Not that it helped my productivity much. I've just switched to iPod games. For anyone interested, I just installed 'Tiny Chef', which is like an iPod version of Restaurant City. Also, I really like the new Fruit Ninja arcade mode.

I'm a little bit worried about exams because I haven't been working all that arduously over the past few weeks. Mostly it's English that worries me because that was my best subject in my last report so I don't want to ruin it. Also it's the most nerve-racking test, despite being the shortest.

Now for a funny video Louie (or Alex) found. It's a video of a reporter who can't stop laughing at a guest who's vocal chords were damaged by an operation.

Nothing to do

Wow I'm almost getting as bad as Tim with my regular postings.

Anyway, I just realised the other day that there is absolutely nothing to do on the internet that is not game/video/music/porn related. Each time I go on the internet I can almost immediately exhaust all sources of entertainment possible without raising the ire of my mother. Actually this is raising my mum's ire quite a bit right now. First I go to Wikipedia to see if the featured article is any good that day. Then it's to Facebook to see if anyone said anything interesting or anything I can twss to. After that is Roger Ebert where I check to see reviews for any new movies (most of them time there aren't any). And then it's to the Dilbert blog, where I read the comic and have a quick skim of the blog entry (I don't find them quite interesting anymore). Finally I check this and any other blogs for updates. On a good day when there is actually interesting stuff on all these pages it can take around 15 minutes before I am bored. On bad days it can be a few seconds.
Can anyone save me from this dilemma by suggesting some interesting sites to go to which are not game/video/music/porn related? Basically I'm looking for a site with lots of text and not many pictures. Also it would help if the site didn't look dodgy e.g. lots of ads for movies and games that really catch the eye.

Office Quote of the Day: The principle is sound, To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don't know why everyone doesn't do this... Maybe they have something against living forever.

That is all.

SATURDAY

Went to food fair today. Most people reading this would have heard about the extreme weather we suffered. It was really hot and sunny with random moments when it would rain bucketloads. As kind of expected, there wasn't much to do there besides hang around and talk to people. We wondered how the hell people had the foresight to bring umbrellas when it was so unbearably hot in the morning. It was because they had brought them to use for shade.

When the weather got a bit more stable, there were some performances. The dance from Year 11 was the highlight of my day. You can find it on Facebook. I actually had a pretty good time today. It wasn't a particularly exciting day but it was enjoyable.

FRIDAY

Lately I've found myself unable to kill small insects, not even those tiny sand-grain sized gnats that float around my table lamp. This is strange because only a few months ago, I took pleasure in torturing ants by trapping them with white-out and glue. The start of this behaviour probably came when there was a fat, noisy blow-fly in my room and I couldn't bring myself to kill it. It annoyed me for at least half an hour until I decided to take down my window fly-screen and shoo it out.

I blame these sentiments on the weather. Pretty much everything about the summer weather makes me feel good. Even the nights where its so hot that you're sweating in bed and can't sleep at all and you stay up thinking about things you normally don't think about but you probably should.

Anyway, to make up for this whimsical and mostly pointless post, here's the best Youtube video ever.

THURSDAY

I really don't like the new MSN messenger emoticons. I was compelled to write this after seeing what they did to the sunglasses emoticon.

Before

 

After

Why the hell did they do this? They just turned a perfectly good smiley into a shit one. I've gotten used to the new :) and :( smileys but I don't think I'll ever be using (H) again.

The other weekend I watched A Clockwork Orange, which I thought was really great. I was blown away by the opening sequence, though you need to watch it on a large screen in a dark room to feel its full effect. Otherwise its just random colours set to trippy music. There's a lot of criticism about the lack of morality in this film, though I was too sucked in by the style to realise this while watching.

Some crazy shit going on here.

I don't think I've written this on my blog but for 4U English, my idea so far is to make a video about someone who gets imprisoned in a bathroom.

Also, I got to thinking about interesting dates like today's (11/11) and I can't believe I totally missed the palindrome date on the 1st of February this year (01.02.2010). Oh well. I'll just have to wait for the 11th of February next year.

TUESDAY

New Sucker Punch trailer!

SATURDAY

I have had an epiphany.

Let us first assume that time travel backwards has not been proven impossible.

There's this episode of 'The Big Bang Theory' where Sheldon is discussing his roommate agreement with Leonard. He says 'If either of us invent time travel we go back to five seconds from now.' He then pauses for five seconds. 'Well that's disappointing.'

So what if we got every credible scientific community in the world to set an 'International Time Travel Target.' If this became widely accepted and received massive global attention, then it could actually work if we ever invent a time machine. Imagine the suspense of watching an event like this. Imagine if we decided to set the date in the past. Mind blown.

The problem with this idea is that it's really stupid but it sounded cool when it randomly popped in my head today. Many people have probably thought of this and I'd like to know if anyone's seen any idea like this being attempted.

Cats

Wow, I haven't updated in ages. Recently I've been very busy. Watching cat videos. Here are some of my favourites:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrI7mHVHlEc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLDSE7RHvno
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_S5cXbXe-4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IytNBm8WA1c

The last one is a compilation so there are some in there that aren't that funny. Enjoy :D

Office quote of the day: You left your stove on. And the TV. Also your cat's dead. It's in the freezer.

That is all.

SUNDAY

Now for something completely random, here's a list of different types of bleeding, listed in descending order of badassness.

1. Bleeding from a samurai sword-inflicted cut.
2. Bleeding from a bullet wound.
3. Bleeding after a fist fight.
4. Bleeding after surviving some kind of explosion
5. Bleeding nose
6. Menstruation
7. Bleeding from popped pimple


Also, for anyone who cares, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

THURSDAY: Some Short Films

Been looking up short films for 4U research and found some worth sharing. These are the Tropfest finalists from various years (for your convenience, I put the ones most worth watching at the top):

Beyond Words:

A thriller about a deaf girl and a blind man. Awesome idea that's beautifully executed.

Scab:

This is at the same time the most disgusting and hilarious thing I've seen in a while.

Deadline:

A filmmaker tries to run from Drummoyne to Kings Cross in 10 minutes so he can submit his film before the 5pm deadline.

Be My Brother:

One of my favourites. I would've put it closer to the top but it's seven minutes long so noone would watch the rest of the videos if I did.

Frequency:

 

Shot entirely on a mobile phone camera, with little post-production.

TUESDAY

I've been considering doing a short film for 4U English. To do so would require decent equipment, some actors, inspiration and a lot of time. All this excitement meant I was awake past midnight reading all kinds of information about filmmaking and film technology. The more I read though, the more I realised filmmaking can be a real bitch. Having said that, it would still be immensely satisfying and worth it if I managed to complete a short film.

While staying up reading about movies, I eventually got bored and went on Kongregate. I ended up playing 'Moby Dick - The Video Game'. Despite the ridiculous idea, it's pretty fun until it gets repetitious at the end.

Even more stupid is this iPhone app called NudeRunner. I literally laughed out loud, sitting by myself when I first played it. Get it free on App Store.

SATURDAY

A list of stuff that we don't do/have anymore:

Massive MSN group conversations (or convos):
Back in junior years, especially Year 7 and 8, we'd get these at least once a week. Some random would decide it'd be real funny to invite their whole contact list into one conversation. Usually what followed was people going 'WTF' and 'OMG I'M LAGGING' before arguing over who started the conversation.

I do remember though, that my best online memories (excuse how sad that sounds) were spent on really long group convos that stretched on til 1am. They were always about the most random topics and were usually pretty funny. Now Facebook has made the group convo redundant, though it just doesn't feel the same. I doubt people would have time for this kinda stuff in Year 12 anyway (or at least pretend they don't when in actual fact, they're probably wasting time anyway).

NJN:
The popular phrase that became a bonding point for half the grade at the expense of one unfortunate person.

Grade Camps:
We had our last one only a few months ago but I'm going to miss the feeling of night time on whole-grade camps. The staying up and talking until very late. The sneaking around to visit other people's rooms. Stuff like that.

Spin the Bottle:
I'm not sure if this is something all junior grades do or if it was just our grade, but up until about Year 10 whenever we had a school dance that inevitably meant playing spin the bottle outside the hall. This was back in the days when a hug was considered first base. All this silliness eventually stopped when we realised that at dances, the general idea is to dance.

Bebo:
I never used Bebo. In fact, I hated it. I just added this to make the list look bigger.

Ehehe I kind of feel all nostalgic and sentimental now. Some people say they miss primary school the most. I thought Year 7-9 was the best. For some reason school started feeling shit in Year 10.

On another topic, I think I just found the coolest professional comic book artist ever. Check out his deviantart gallery.

THURSDAY

School's changed a bit for me. I've moved from having no free periods at all to having at least one per day. It's quite strange suddenly having so much free time, especially since Year 12 is supposed to mean I have very little. Anyway, I spent my free period reading a very good comic.

That's all I have to say. I've been trying to think of something non-movie related to blog about but I saw some really great movies over the past week and they're all I can think about.

Oh well.

VERY IMPORTANT

I just got the new MSN messenger and realised that it doesn't show your PM, which means people won't see when this blog gets updated.

And then Vincent Tran told me there's a 'compact view' which makes things look like the old MSN again. Needless to say,  I was mindblown and felt the need to alert readers who would otherwise be oblivious to this fact.

Of course, if you were cool then you would have used an RSS feed or whatever to track blog updates. Disregard this if you are a cool person.

MONDAY

Firstly, I've changed this blog back to normal. Not completely normal though because Tim accused me of being boring to sticking with the very plain old blog design. This new background actually looks kinda gay but that's alright because under Tim's new regime, it'll probably change every month.

I've started playing Plants Vs. Zombies a lot. Over the past few days I've been thinking about so much, developing all kinds of clever and elegant strategies, that I've gotten pretty obsessed (for an iPod game). So to satisfy my PvZ cravings, I checked online to see if there were fellow hardcore PvZ players out there.

I came up with this video. I recommend you watch it for 10 seconds, laugh at the fact some guy with a funny accent is explaining Plants Vs. Zombies in such thorough detail, then get bored and stop.

Turns out there are people out there much more obssessed than I am. (Though to be fair, they probably play it on the computer). There is also a very detailed Plants vs Zombies Wiki with information and strategies on every plant, and all kinds of interesting facts about the game.


And now to another topic, I was watching retarded videos Edwin showed me. As typical of all retarded stuff, he originally found them from Arthur. Anyway, I found this video and several more by the same user especially funny, though I really think the user is a troll.

Very, very faithful readers will notice I haven't linked any flash games for a very long time. The very depressing reason for this is that I don't have time for flash games anymore. However, I did check out the latest games on Kongregate and one of the current featured games called Monster Slayers is very, very fun. In fact, this game is the reason why I'm still typing this post at 12:40 in the night.

This post was difficult to write due to the fact I kept changing topics. If you read the first line of every paragraph, you'll realise I made some pretty crap segues.

wudup A's .get it?

yo , shoutout to lucy,ptah,kevinchen for answering my question last blog CORRECTLY :D

TALKING OF peter -


checkitout if you havn't seen it. comment /like . another probs better dance vid by peter will also be up soon.
xoxoxo
- tim

nah jokes i'm not gay

peace to the gangsters and the pranksters.
nah jokes, i'm not gangster either
byeee! tim .

wudup G's.

ok WATUP HOMIES?
i Am back with another of my regular blogs.

what has been up you guys may ask, or alternatively, what has been down? or perhaps, what has been to the left? or perhaps noneofyou give a shit LOLOLwtf.
yr12 has started.......scary..
ok,lets talk firstly bout my last holidays b4 yr12. most boringest holidays i've ever had. so not much to talk about LOL. anyways,yr12 now and it still hasn't REALly HIT ME that i only have 12more months of school.im gonna miss school once it ends but at the sametime i want hsc to end so my mum can stfu lOL. okk...so like today had ag hsc. my study for it has been pretty bad....like i kept getting distracted byyoutube......... i think my final ag mark will be pretty shit cause my schoolmark was 95 wich isnt too good and i dont think i did that well in the exam today .
O WELLS g's dontgive ashit. jk, it'll mean i'll have to put in 100.1% for my maths,eng,chem and phys. chucking out all my ag notes this afternoon was such a good feeling.LIKE SO GOODZ SOOOO GOOD MAN. and i'm dropping mod, so I"LL HAVE 15 frees holyjizz , i've never had a free before O_o (but i've had a 2 ...gettit LOLOL). yeh.. hopefully i'll do work in at least 1 free, cause realistically i think i'm just gonna be chillin and talking cause highschool time is now too short to waste MUST ENJOY..

what else is up , ...my ceiling..HAHA.. im looking forward to new zealand annual. omgggggggggg soo gooooood, in my section i got got abs and vincent WOOTZ. gonna be hektik off the hook fullytabulli G's in the crib yall. i really wanna bring speakers n play LOTR music whilst we hike up MT DOOM, but i'm not sure how to.. i'm too fatnpussy to carry speakers. maybe abs or vincent can carry it LOLOLOl. if somehow we can do it, it will be sooooooo epitch.a lifetime memory.

ok so not much is up,..or down....or to the right...or to the left...or to the 45degrees......lawl.
i'm gonna try and get into a study routine for yr12 cuz its like....important. LIKE all the other years everyone always said dw doesnt count. but LIKE THIS YEAR, IT DOES.....(welllnoshit you must think.) yah. gonna try n blog everyday now cause all my fangirls have been wanting me to. nah jokes, technically fans can't be girls cause they're non-living and serve to blow wind on you only .....hoho.

ok. peace out to all my lovers, haters and masturbaters. !!!
.lawl...WHICH YOUTUBE personality's signout line did i copy.. if you answer correctly, i will give you a shoutout in tomoros post (lol....shittest prize ever) speaking of youtube, gonna upload a new vid on my yutube channel tomoro..OOOOOOO WHAT CAN IT BE.

SATURDAY: List of Epic Film Moments

Here is a list of assorted moments in movies that are particularly awesome. (I was originally going to title this 'Epic Movie Moments' but seeing the words 'Epic Movie' made me feel bad.) Due to the fact that most of these moments of awesomeness tend to happen at the end of a movie, you'll have to highlight the spoilerific ones to read them.

Underlined entries are mine and italicised are Louie's.

Lord of the Rings

Despite all the shiver-inducing battle charges and insane monster fights, Gandalf riding out to blast away the Nazguls is my personal favourite epic scene from Lord of the Rings. It probably has something to do with the sudden change of music, the massive long shot and how they made Gandalf's staff super shiny without looking tacky.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

The Mexican stand-off at the end of this movie is seriously the best movie climax I have ever seen. Just for this scene alone, I would recommend anyone to watch the entire (3 hour) movie. You can watch this scene by itself on Youtube but it's not as powerful outside of context.

The Shawshank Redemption

(After 25 years of wrongful incarceration, Andy Dufresne escapes from prison. Everything works here; Morgan Freeman's calm narration, the musical score. The director of this movie, Frank Darabont, seems to have a thing for Stephen King and his other movie, The Green Mile, is very much worth watching.)


The Dark Knight

The scene where Batman flips the truck over using a wire has been played so many times in trailers that it could have been ruined. But it wasn't. And it's made even more impressive by the fact that a real truck was flipped and the 70 year old guy you see driving the truck before the Joker did the actual stunt of driving the truck and being flipped. Also the hospital scene and the scene where Joker says "Hit me!". You know what? Just the entire movie.

500 Days of Summer

(Ok, I know a lot of you right now are going what the hell why is there a romantic comedy here but the scene where Tom finally gets over his former girlfriend Summer after 500 days (hence the name) and then meets a girl called Autumn just feels so well-earned and admittedly I felt a little bit warm and fuzzy. Also how the day counter changes from 500 to 1)



The Matrix

My favourite moment of this movie is when Neo takes the red pill and wakes up from the Matrix for the first time. Those image of hundreds and thousands of little pods stuck to these massive towers was quite haunting. Or as people like to say now, I got mindfucked.

The shootout in the hotel was pretty cool. Louie's epic moment is when Neo dodges the bullets.

There Will Be Blood

"I drink your milkshake"


Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Originally a full-on swordfight was planned but Harrison Ford, who was sick with dysentry said "Let's just shoot the sucker." And so instead they shot this instead. Ford seems to have a knack for bad-ass improv, also responsible for the line "I know" as Han Solo gets carbon frozen in Star Wars Episode V.

Shark Attack 3

FRIDAY: Owls of Ga'Hoole

Louie's going to laugh when he reads this, but today I not only watched The Legend of the Guardians (Owls of Ga'hoole) but I watched it in 3D IMAX. I thought it was a pretty decent movie, despite being a fantasy story about owls. Perhaps seeing in IMAX contributed largely to my enjoyment. More about that later.

(Note: I'm capitalising IMAX not for emphasis but because it looks funny if I don't.)

Well, today was probably the most eventful day of my (pretty uneventful) holidays. I had my AMusA piano exam. It wasn't a complete disaster but my chances of passing look pretty slim. Now that piano is over, I can start studying properly for agriculture. I actually considered bringing my agriculture notes to the exam so I could get to it straight away but decided not to because that would be kind of sad.

On the topic of agriculture study, I briefly met Alex, Raymond and Lindy at Bicentennial Park. They had planned a bbq+ag study session. You can already see how that wouldn't quite work. I actually thought Lindy was studying when I first saw her because she was reading something. Turned out it was Harry Potter.

And now back to The Legend of the Guardians. It's about a young owl named Soren who is kidnapped with his brother by 'The Pure Ones'. Managing to escape, he seeks out the Guardians of Ga'Hoole, on the way making new friends, facing tests of strength yada yada yada. You can watch the trailer here.

Despite being quite different in subject matter, it bears resemblance to Zack Snyder's other movies (300, Watchmen) with his signature use of slow motion. Anyone who's watched 300 will realise what I mean.

 

Originally I thought it was just a device he used to help the process of adapting 300 almost frame-for-frame but Snyder seems to have really liked it and uses it quite a bit in Owls of Ga'Hoole. He uses it much more sparingly and I think that sometimes it works quite well despite seeming a little gratuitous. I raise this point mainly as a warning for Louie, who really hates it.

Complaints that the story is too formulaic and schmaltzy would be pretty irrelevant. It's true that a lot of improvement could be made to the script, but it'd be wrong take issue with the simplistic notions of absolute good and evil. We didn't complain about it in Lord of the Rings, so we won't complain about it here. And after all, this is a children's movie.

I will say that with this movie there's a greater focus on craft than storytelling. This movie, like many we see now is visually stunning. Perhaps the IMAX emphasised this. You can't really dismiss this as 'mindless CGI' or whatever because it takes a lot of creativity and artistry to get great cinematography, visual motifs, character designs etc. Most mainstream directors excel in this - Christopher Nolan, James Cameron. However, this film struggles with storytelling devices like pacing and rhythm. I thought this was most evident in the scene where Soren dives into a massive wave. A theory I have (and I can't really back this up) is that directors from times past or those who work with lower budgets have technical boundaries and see the limits of their craft as an obstacle to conveying their artistic vision. With big budget directors, there are fewer limits and they are more concerned with seeing how far out they can go.

Well that's all I have to say about that movie. On the whole, I thought it was pretty enjoyable and I'm glad I saw it. I was compelled to write this review because the movie's new so I can form my own opinion instead of imitating those of people smarter than me.

Cadillacs

So yesterday I was driving home from the library and this old Cadillac was in front of me. It looked something like this:

Anyway, there was this rather attractive girl that walked past the car, and she turned her head to look at it (naturally). The guy in the car (who was about 50) was just staring at the girl as she walked past. When she saw him looking at her, she started to walk faster but obviously the guy didn't get the hint because he turned his head and eventually was looking at her through his rear view mirror. I'm surprised he didn't drive onto the sidewalk and start following her everywhere. But seriously, who the hell stares at a girl for that long even when she knows your looking?

Office quote of the day: Now that I own the building I'm looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center...? Muahahahahahahahaha... [pause] Well I guess it's not an evil idea it's just a regular idea but, there's no good laugh for a regular idea.

That is all.

WEDNESDAY

The other night I was flicking through the television channels, hoping to catch some late-night nudity on SBS. Instead, I opened up to the Commonwealth Games broadcast to see the women's weightlifting competition. All I can say is, holy shit.

Vivian Lee, representing Australia. She finished fifth.

So this meek and pale looking asian girl, draped with a towel and wearing glasses, steps out into the ring and lifts twice her body weight. That's pretty cool.

On the same night I also watched The Da Vinci Code. Having read the novel, the movie wasn't very exciting. However, I am a fan of Tom Hanks and Audrey Tatou is really hot so I suppose it was alright. Of all the other movies in the previous post, I've only watched 'The Great Escape' which was really good. Certainly very exciting and a very glamorous look at World War II.

It was my cousin's 4th birthday today and someone gave her a red pocket. I found this kind of pointless because what the hell is a 4 year old kid going to do with $20? (I'm assuming that's the most likely amount)

Well I suppose that's all I have to say. My throat recovered and I'm not sick anymore so that's good.

WEDNESDAY: Holidays

I have recently contracted a very annoying case of tonsilitis. When I swallow, it feels like I tried to deep throat a porcupine. Two nights ago, I also had a fever which made me have really strange and deeply disturbing dreams. I thought I became trapped in some kind of infinite mathematical loop. Sounds kind of nerdy but I cannot remember ever feeling so scared. It felt like I was doomed to spend eternity counting peculiar shapes. Really weird.


Anyway, now to the main purpose of this post. Here is a list of movies I plan to watch or have already watched in the holidays. For your viewing convenience, I've linked each one to their IMDb page. (By the way, I really don't like the new IMDb layout :/)


Rope
I've already watched this one and really enjoyed it. It's a lesser-known Hitchcock movie only about 80 minutes long and all takes place in one set. Basically these two students decide to murder one of their colleagues for fun and then host a party, using the chest where they store the dead body as a dining table. Suspenseful stuff.

Jaws

My sister was sitting next to me when we watched this and she got pretty scared.

The Great Escape
I saw this at the library and borrowed it because it's very famous. Haven't seen it yet.

The Godfather
When I first watched this, I found it hard to understand. I get easily confused when movies have a lot of exposition. Anyway, I'll be watching this again.

There Will Be Blood
No Country for Old Men
I lumped these two movies together because they're both gritty looking dramas made in the same year and as a result, I often get them confused with each other. Alex has been recommending I've watched these movies for a while so I hopefully will.

Raging Bull
Taxi Driver
The Departed
Again, these are all grouped together because they're all Martin Scorsese films. Apparently he's a really really good director and the first two movies are some of his best. Scorsese's next movie is going to be in 3D, making him the only decent director to use it besides James Cameron, the guys at Pixar (and maybe Tim Burton).

The Indiana Jones Series

The only Indiana Jones movie I've watched is the fourth one, which apparently is the crappiest of the series and I still really liked it.

2001: A Space Odyssey
People who've watched this might think I'm retarded for subjecting myself to this again. The first time I watched it, my reaction was very much a wtf. Anyway, I hope to see it again because I have reason to believe I'll enjoy it now.

Amelie 
I saw part of this in English and thought it was really cool.


Well that's my movie list for this holidays. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll get through more than 50% of this list because I'm quite busy what with piano exam, agriculture and the DKT. On top of this list, there's a few books I really want to read but if I don't have time to watch movies, then I doubt I'll have time to read books. After the HSC, I'm going to make up for all this and watch a movie every day, read a book every week and probably die from mental explosion.

Boring holidays

So the other day Walter gave me Dota on his USB. Naturally I was excited and so I went home and installed it. Little did I know that somehow installing made my computer crash and now I can only run it safe mode. For those of you unfamiliar with safe mode it is exactly the same as a normal computer without the fun/interesting bits. So you cant watch movies, can't go on the internet, and can't play games. Actually you can watch movies and listen to music but my speakers got confiscated. So the most interesting I can do is go on word and charge my iPod. Soon even that will be taken away from me as my computer gets fixed and be returned to me by Friday. Why the hell dis this have to happen in the last holiday before year 12? If anybody is going anywhere between today and Friday please invite me so that I don't die in my house. Anybody except Joshua.

That is all.

P.S. THANKS A LOT WALTER

Movies

Ok, instead of making my display name on msn movies I am getting excited about/want to watch, I will instead be posting them here. That way, I can have one name all the time, get excited about multiple movies and also not look like a retard.

The Town


The thing that most impressed me in the trailer were the masks. Look how much detail there's in them.

The Social Network



It's a movie about facebook with justin timberlake in it. Girls will go crazy.

Legends of the Guardians: Owls of Ga'Hoole



Just look at the poignant dialogue and already wildly unpredictable storyline. And also don't be discouraged by the fact that there are super slo mo shots in the trailer. I thought the slow motion would only be in the trailers of Watchmen but they all ended up in the movie. Hopefully Zack Snyder repeats this and returns to this much superior art form.

That is all.

THURSDAY

I have just finished reading Infinite Crisis, which is a massive cross-over story with almost every hero in the DC multiverse.

The mythology and background behind the DC universe(s) is so amazingly vast that it makes the Silmarillion look like a travel brochure. Not saying its all worth reading, but over the years they've created thousands of characters, each with their own (usually) unique set of stories. So its pretty epic when they fit so many of them in one story without bogging it down. I enjoyed this comic so much I was going to write more about it. But I realised the only person I know who'd be interested in something like this would be Louie.

On the topic of stuff I read, I also borrowed another Sandman graphic novel from the school library. I still maintain the Sandman series (I'm not referring to the Spiderman villain, by the way) is the best I've ever read and I really really really recommend anyone to read it. I also read a volume of Astro Boy and it was very cute, for lack of a better word.

You may have noticed I only read comics as opposed to actual books. Well yeah, who the hell reads books.

MONDAY: A Nice Story

I feel quite lethargic right now. School was particularly soul-sapping today and I was a bit too tired for cadets afterwards. When I got home, I fell asleep trying to memorise 'general knowledge' for my piano exam.

So in the absence of any creative output from myself, here's a lovely short story written by Janet and JKo during physics (one word at a time):

Neil's Adventure
Neil likes to play with himself while Jin watches videos on Redtube, especially those of black men playing with other asian guys. But, Neil caught a butterfly and realised that there was more fun in playing with pink elephants.

He asked Janet, 'Hey! Do I look like a hot metrosexual?'

Janet replied, 'Hell, I reckon you are kinda babe, but the faces is a major problem...'

Neil was very angry so went to JKo crying. 'Omg! Janet doesn't think I'm a fully sick yalla brewwwww. What the fuck?'

Jko slapped Jin, telling Neil to man up and get a job.

'Dude just because I'm awesome and taller, hotter, and smart, doesn't mean that you can't get a job at Sparkles Strip Joint!'

Neil had no shame and went to Sparkles Strip Joint. When the owner arrived she was told:

'Hi, I like it anywhere except my backdoor because it kinda hurts. But do give me employment here, I like to take all my clothes off seductively to flash music.'

The owner said. "You're a bit too ugly, and could be a bit curvier. But I'll give you a shot, if you can lick cream off my face ;)'

So Neil was happy and took some Viagra to help his stripping. Newly named 'Shamless Dota', fame and sluttiness came along quickly. Lady Gaga told Neil, 'Hey, sexy wanna come to my room? I've got a jacuzzi.'

Neil was ecstatic, 'Oh my god, yes! I luuuuurve jacuzzis!'

So, he followed her and began dancing around while taking drugs. Unfortunately, his pants fell down so he died.

Lady Gaga was happy and also sad. She died too, unfortunately.

The End.


In hindsight, it would have been smarter to scan the story instead of typing it out. Well, that's all of it. Nobel Prize-worthy stuff.

Inception

Today I watched Inception

Holy shit.

That is all.

THURSDAY: Things that give me the shits

After my amazingly lengthy last post, I've been trying to follow it up with something worth reading. Initially, I planned to write about my opinion on the 'Are video games art?' debate that has been circulating for a while. However, upon reading some discussions on the topic, I realised a lot of comments were about the definition of art. And noone wants to read about that.

For those who are interested though, my brief opinion on the matter is that this argument is about whether or not video games will be accepted by authoritative scholars as a medium worthy of sitting next to literature, music and so on. My (kind of simplistic) idea is that this will probably happen in about forty years for the simple reason that this is how long it took for the same thing to happen for film. If I'm right, then the video game equivalent of Citizen Kane is due for release at around 2025. Can't wait.

Ho-humph chortle chortle

So with that out of the way, here's a list of things that give me the shits:

Printers:
In any computer set-up the printer is usually the part most likely to screw up. It's also the only part that requires you to pay buttloads of money to refill it every once in a while. I remember one time I had to print someone's assignment for them and my printer decided to not print half the second page. It was pretty late at night and I didn't realised this happened. I submitted the assignment and as a result, she got a really crap mark. That was kind of embarrassing. Luckily this was in Year 10 so it didn't matter.

Jason Derulo:
His music gives me the shits. He's not on the radio anymore so that makes me happy. Actually I really like most of the songs on the charts right now.

The two guys who directed 'Epic Movie', 'Disaster Movie' etc.:
If you've watched any of their movies, then I won't even have to explain this. If not, just look up any of their trailers.

Actually, I'll admit that something good did actually come out of these two guys. Recently they released 'Vampires Suck', which is a parody of Twilight. Watch the trailer below and you'll see it looks quite terrible. (To be fair though, they're actually improving. There's one or two good laughs.) Reading the comments for the trailer though is good entertainment. There's the people who love Twilight and think this movie is hilarious (and probably pat themselves on the back for having a good sense of humour). There's people who hate Twilight and think this movie is hilarious (and pat themselves on the back for hating Twilight). And if you're lucky, you might someone who loves the Twilight books, but hates the movies for ruining Edward Cullen and so love this movie for making fun of the movies that ruined the 'best book series ever'.

There's so much self-indulgent enjoyment to be had from reading the comments of people more retarded than you.



Moralfags
These be the fags censoring our moviez and video gamez and trying to filter our internets. Grargh.

WEDNESDAY: An Artwork Analysis

A few weeks ago, my cousin came to my house holding a piece of paper. Curious, I asked what it was but he turned in embarassment. After some persuasion, however, I was able to take this drawing off him.

William Zhang. 'Young Boy about to Hit a Tree.' 

c. 2010 Crayon on paper. 30cm × 42cm (11.7 in x 16.5 in)

I see nothing here to be embarassed about. This artwork is an aesthetic triumph far beyond the range of any average six-year-old. In an attempt to dissect its brilliance, I will analyse this artwork, section by section.

Firstly we have the artist's representation of the Sun. He switches to warm primary colours that contrast with his well-chosen artistic medium (blue and white printing paper). The sun is a traditional symbol of life-giving and here, it can be taken to represent the parental figures of the artist's life. While there is softness here in the gently swirling colours, there is a tone of aggression, with the sharp, angled light rays. It seems the artist is making a poignant statement about being the child of parents who can be loving, yet harsh. Perhaps he has the troubled mind of a child who has been spanked by mummy one too many times.

Here, we have the artist's depiction of a house. Striking, at first, is the stunning minimalism. The house has only a door, a bed, a chimney and some stairs. There is charming childish innocence at work here. After all, what more does a house need than a door to enter, a place to rest, and a few homely touches. Yet the genius of this image comes from the artist's mischievous manipulations of perspective. He has chosen to draw it in lead pencil, placing it firmly in the background and giving an illusion of depth. More alarming though is the fact that both walls of the house are visible. This distortion of perspective adds a touch of cubism. By placing it within the otherwise realist framework of his painting, he is perhaps parodying this old concept, giving it again the feeling of avant-garde it once afforded.

Finally we have this curious figure (we shall call him 'the skater'), who appears to express fear as he is about to collide with a tree. One thing I did not point out in the house-drawing was the letter 'Z' arranged in a drifting pattern above his body. Here, he repeats this with the letter 'A' bursting out of the the skater with the addition of two more lines to emphasise noise.

Will Eisner once commented that the distinction between words and images is arbitrary. We see this concept demonstrated here, where words are used as abstract visual symbols of noise. Another clever abstract device is the smudging of the crayon to suggest movement. One could be forgiven for pointing out that this is a very basic visual language feature; but remember, the artist is only six years old.

A perplexing decision here is the use of the colour red. It could be argued that the artist simply did not have flesh-coloured crayons available and made do with his favourite colour. However, if this were the case it would be far more appropriate to swap red for orange, which is closer to skin colour.

So is this an artistic failure of the artist? I think not. As I stated before, red is most likely is favourite colour and as such, the skater serves as an avatar of the artist; a projection of who he would like to be. This becomes clear when we think of the qualities of this skater. He is reckless, daring and about to get into a whole lot of trouble. Is this not, after all, what all young boys aspire to be?

The overall effect of this artwork is transformative yet humbling. With rudimentary visual devices, the artist has put so much of himself in to this drawing, one can only speculate on the hidden depths within this visionary six-year-old boy. After seeing the world through the eyes of a pure unblemished child, we cannot help but to look to our own lives with a fresh, revitalising perspective. To my dearest cousin, I thank you for your art and I wish you the very best for your future artistic pursuits.

My Mum (insert ya mum joke here)

So i had a list of weird things my dad did so now it's my mum's turn. She doesn't really listen to anything random (in fact she hates my dad's music) but she does other retarded stuff like:

1. Being the most extreme racist - I think this is true of many asian women though (lol how racist and sexist for me to think that). If my mum sees some black people or lebanese people hanging around she'll immediately start to walk away from them. Then she tells me not to become one of those bad guys. And the black or lebanese people aren't even doing anything dodgy, they're just walking...
2. Locking the car doors when we drive at night - she's afraid we'll get robbed by some dude who'll just open the door and take stuff.
3. Being easily influenced - Seriously, if one asian parent does something then she'll copy it immediately. Example, some asian parents keep the computer in the living room to prevent their children from having a social life. Guess what happened next week...
4. Believing anything the newspaper says - this really ties into the previous point but i wanted there to be more points so yeh. My mum will read the most random crap about stuff in the newspaper and will believe and then tell me about it. Example: The only water in the house that is drinkable is boiled water because the newspaper said tap water was bad. In what way?!?!

That's it. I'm not going to make a fifth point because a) i can't think of any other points and b) I don't want to add another point just so it becomes a round number. Also I think 4 really is an underused number. Everyone organises things in either ones, pairs, threes or fives. No one really uses 4. So here's your chance to shine number 4!

That is all.

Random Stuff

So I haven't been blogging for a while due to exams. Here's a list of random stuff I thought about blogging throughout the week

1. Since exam week my parents have repeatedly tell me to eat things that are supposed to make me "smarter". Like the guy in the depression ad, my parents tell me walnuts make you smart because they're shaped like brains. Very scientific. There are also other varieties of foods that make you smarter like fish, prawns and generally food that I don't like.
2. Asian parents really do only care about maths. For the entire week my parents were calm during the exams. Now they're yelling at me to do good in 3U.
3. A man was sent to jail for insulting a police officer in Belgium
4. He broke out of jail using a zip (like the ones on your trousers)
5. It is not against the law in Belgium to break out of jail.

That is all.

FRIDAY

Faithful readers may notice I haven't posted anything for a while. They'd probably guess that I was too busy studying. That actually is why I haven't blogged, though I doubt abstaining from blogging really helped my productivity all that much.

I actually thought of different things to blog about during the week but decided to put off writing about them until after the exams. Unfortunately, as exams are not over yet, I will not blog about them here. But after exams (and probably 3U English assessment), you may reasonably expect some meatier posts.

So to make sure you didn't read all of this for nothing, here's some inspirational quotes to help you get through this exam-tainted weekend:

I think it would be a good idea.
- Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization.

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire, on his death-bed when he was told by the priest to renounce Satan.

Dumb excuses

In between the ad break of the Simpsons today I switched to the news where it said that a lady grabbed a cat and chucked it into a dumpster and closed the lid on it. Apparently that lady is actually an animal lover and she claims that she did it as a joke and thought that the cat could get out. What the hell, how could the cat possibly get out of a dumpster with the lid closed on it? And who was the joke for seeing as nobody was watching her? This has got to be the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. It probably would have been better to say that she had poor eyesight and thought that the cat was a piece of rubbish.

That is all.

TUESDAY: A Cautionary Tale for the Studious Student

A little comic in light of current events that took a lot more time to draw than it looks.

Having read a few comic books recently, I was inspired to draw a really cool comic about a Spaceman but unfortunately, I realised I'm not a very good artist.

MONDAY

Fun educational activity of the day:

Look up what the word 'smegma' means on Wikipedia.

Your reaction will either be 'Eww' or 'Oh. That's what its called.'

Or you already know what it means and think I'm real clever shit for posting this.

WEDNESDAY: Gender-related Issues

It's pretty well-established fact that guys can make a bit of a mess in the bathroom. If it's 2am in the morning and you've woken up and need to piss, then you'd be forgiven for forgetting to turn the lights on so you can actually aim the nozzle. However, any decent guy who misses the mark will be considerate enough to wipe that shit up (or in this case piss).

Despite this, however, I believe that it is not the guy who leaves a bigger mess in the bathroom. What I have recently observed (and thought about enough to post here) is that girls leave a lot of hair in the bathroom. Perhaps I'm generalising here but I share a bathroom with my sister and at certain times of the day there's strands of long, silky hair lying all over the place. Hair in the sink, hair in the shower, hair on the tiles. Hair, hair, hair.

I know my sister reads this blog but I hope she does it infrequently enough to miss this little complaint.

While we're on the topic of gender differences, I'll segue to an article I read on the weekend. It was an article referencing another article by Sheila Jeffreys about female beauty practises, in particular waxing or shaving of body hair.

'The suggestion that women will not acquire male partners without shaving resembles the reasons given for the carrying out of harmful beauty practises in other cultures, such as female genital mutilation and the reconstructing of hymens; that is, girls have no chance of marrying without them. While women shaving their legs or getting a Brazilian is nowhere near as invasive as those practises, some would argue their mute enforcement in the West has just as profound effect.'

It's quite true that body hair is a big deal. I'm sure most guys reading this would find it hard to be attracted to a girl with hairy legs. But there's a really good point here. The expectation that girls should be hairless is theoretically as bad as expecting they should have bound feet or long necks. These are standards of beauty that we make up and have no real evolutionary basis.

So why did I share this article? I'm actually a big supporter of all this gender equality stuff. I just thought this was particularly interesting. Also, I haven't watched many movies lately because I've been busy working and shiz so my usual blog topics aren't available and I've been reduced to writing about toilet humour and things of substance.

FRIDAY

I've recently contracted a cold which really annoys me, though I won't complain too much about it because this blog gets enough of that from Louie. Every time I get a cold, I find different approaches to dealing with it. I try to think laterally to find creative ways of minimising my discomfort.

One of the things I hate most is how the skin beneath my nose gets really dry and raw from all the nose blowing I do. So one time, I deprived myself of tissues during my cold to stop this. This resulted in a lot of finger-wiping and mucus smeared on my clothes but, amazingly smooth and supple under-the-nose-skin.

Another approach was to 'soldier on' and be as physically active as possible so I'd forget I was ill. I think this kind of worked but I wouldn't want to try it again. Yesterday, I tried to solve the problem of a runny nose by stuffing tissues up my nostrils. This easy-to-do solution supposed to meant I could staunch the flow of runny mucus and get on with my work. Unfortunately I pushed the tissues too far in and did a massive sneeze, after which I found my left nostril was bleeding profusely.

At that moment, I felt a lot like Ralph Wiggum probably does when he picks his nose so hard it bleeds.

And now for the weather, which if you read my previous post we will hope is rainy on Wednesday so Louie can watch Inception. Right now, the chances of rain look good.

Of course, the weather is definitely going to be subject to change, especially since it's almost a fortnight away. But we can all hope for the best.