SUNDAY

Now that the holidays are ending, I wish I had made more efficient use of my time. Of all the movies I planned to watch, I've only gone through about half. I had also planned to finish my storyboard for my 4U film, but I'm only halfway through that too. However, I did manage to do a lot of physics/chemistry studying and maths tutor homework. I did manage to finish watching every episode of Dexter too. And I got my Maplestory mechanic to level 40. So I guess my holidays were alright.

Of all the movies I watched this holiday, I'm going to say my favourite was The Shining. Seriously, the scariest movie I've seen. It's about a guy who moves in with his wife and son to become caretaker of an alpine resort that will be closed for the winter. We know that the previous caretaker went crazy from isolation and butchered his family.

There is this feeling throughout the whole movie of unbelievable claustrophobia. Kubrick's movies always have these amazing sets. Look at the carpet on this picture. Out of context, its kind of silly for me to point out how threatening it looks, but in the movie there's a high-angle shot of the son playing trains on the carpet and its positively creepy.

Two scenes I particularly liked. One where the son is on his little tricycle and pedalling around the resort. The camera follows him very closely behind and its a very long take. The other is the 'redrum' scene, which I won't ruin but I found pretty scary. Also, if anyone reading this wants to watch this movie, watch out for a scene involving an old lady. It is on Empire's list of top 10 worst nude scenes.

The Departed was probably my second favourite of the movies I watched. I don't have much to say about it though except that it was really good. The ending gave me this feeling that all the events were meaningless, though I kind of liked that.

Most of the other movies I watched were pretty good too.

SPACEMAN SAM

THE ADVENTURES OF SPACEMAN SAM (the final installment in the trilogy)

So finally Spaceman Sam could get down to the business of saving his foreign friends. All he had to do was cut the blue wire or the red wire so that the air leak would close up. Ok really he didn't know what to do but in all the action movies he had watched when something exciting was happening someone was cutting a wire.

So he decided to cut the green wire because on earth green means go, so he reasoned that a green wire meant go cut. He got out his scissors and cut the wire. The only problem was the wire didnt cut. For some reason the wire just bent around the scissors

"Hmmm..," he thought to himself "Maybe i need to practice first"
So he decided to cut a piece of string very conveniently attached to himself. Snip snip snip he went. And the wire cut. The only problem was that the wire was the only thing that was attaching himself to the ship. Spaceman Sam started to drift out towards space. He tried everything to get back. He tried swimming, he tried running, he even tried reverse psychology by going backwards! Nothing worked although he did actually keep going backwards.

"Wait a minute," he said to himself "I once heard about a scientamalogical experiment where this guy threw a hammer and started moving? I'll do just that"
And he did. There was a hammer conveniently stowed away in his utility belt and so he grabbed it.
"Ok, so which way do i throw it? Backwards or forwards? Well, if i throw it forwards then the gravitational attraction between me and the hammer will pull me towards the ship. But if i throw it backwards then according to some Newt's Ten Law then the action reaction thingymabob will shift me to the ship. Nah thats stupid ill go for the first one."
So Spaceman Sam threw the hammer at the spaceship. Unfortunately it hit the control panel causing an electric spark. The hammer then ricocheted into the fuel tank and caused a huge explosion. KABOOOMKAJBDGAHKBDGJHDBSJGHB it went. (yes i know there's no oxygen in space and this rules out any chance of an explosion occuring but this is fiction ok?)

All on board died instantly. As for Spaceman Sam the explosion pushed him into the gravitational field of earth and he landed in water and lived happily ever after

Jk the explosion sent him further into space and he died from the lack of oxygen.

That is all.

SPACEMAN SAM

THE ADVENTURES OF SPACEMAN SAM (continued)

Spaceman Sam drifted into space and watched the Earth below. He thought he could see his house, but was confused as to why it seemed like it was in China. He watched as the clouds rolled across the sky and how the sun's rays struck upon the scraggly rock that was the earth.

Meanwhile inside the space station three russians and two germans were struggling for breath. Spaceman Sam returned to the task at hand
But soon he was distracted and
A rap started to form in his mind
For little did he know he would find
A battle from aliens of the extraterrestrial kind
And while he was in space
He picked up a mace
And smashed them right in the face.

Ok that was more like a long limerick but whatever. Anyway the extraterrestrial beings were real and they were sucking out Spaceman Sam's intelligence!! Fortunately he didn't have much
so the aliens blew up and died.

To be continued....

Sorry this one was so short.

That is all.

SATURDAY

Without realising, I have allowed my holidays to fall into a pretty consistent routine. It goes something like this:

8:30AM: Alarm starts ringing. Get out of bed, turn it off, get back in bed.
8:45AM: Mum comes in. Tells me to get out of bed.
9:00AM: Get out of bed.
9:30AM: Breakfast, coffee (I like coffee now), read newspaper etc. (Wow, I sound like some stereotypical white dude.)
10:30AM - 5:00PM: Grey area. Time is spent studying and working on the storyboard for my 4U English. Up to 40% of this time is consumed by distractions like iPod games. Somewhere in there I have lunch.
5:00PM: I ride my bicycle, bicycle.
6:00PM: Dinnertime!
7:00PM: Dick around on the Internet. Lol.
8:00PM: Watch a movie/ TV show.
11:00PM: Get back on computer. If the movie was particularly good/ confusing, I'll read it's Wikipedia article.
Really LateAM: Sleep.

And that's my holidays. Some extra information. My 4U idea is a short film adaptation of 'The Tell-Tale Heart'. I feel it's going reasonably well. I've managed to watch: Every Indiana Jones movie, The Big Sleep, The Shining, Superman, Snatch, Scott Pilgrim (holy shit, almost every movie starts with an 's') and I'm a few episodes into season five of Dexter.

Also, I started playing Maplestory a bit once the new Mechanic class came out. It's definitely much more fun than I expected. I have a level 27 Mechanic right now, ign: DrCrane. Buddy me pls.

Spaceman Sam

So the other day i was thinking, what did i used to do back when i didnt have a computer or didnt know how to operate the tv? I made up stories in my head that were either what i want to happen in my real life or stuff that was funny or cool. So here's one i thought of today.

THE ADVENTURES OF SPACEMAN SAM

In the far outer reaches of the Earth's atmosphere Spaceman Sam was working on the International Space Station. On board were three Russian astronauts, Ivan Atinkle, Sergei Karsakov and Vladmir Vladmir, two German astronauts Adolf Frankenfurter and Gunter Hamburg, and of course the one American on board... SPACEMAN SAM.

Things weren't actually too good right now as there were red lights flashing everywhere and there was something about something something broken out somewhere somewhere. People were panicking and running around like headless chickens, Spaceman Sam thought.
"Somebody needs to get out there and do somesing" said Gunter in a german accent.
"But who?" asked Vladmir Vladmir in a russian accent.
"I can't I just had a frankfurt" said Adolf Frankenfurter in a german accent.
"I am sorry but I need to cleanse my bladder" said Ivan Atinkle in a russian accent.
"I need to uh... cars a cov" said Sergei Karsakov weakly (in a russian accent).
Everyone then stared at the only person without an excuse.
"Vat? My name is Vladmir Vladmir! Vould you trust a man who's name was Vladmir Vladmir?"
Ok there was actually another guy without an excuse and that was... SPACEMAN SAM

"Oh hey guys WAZZZUUPPP!!!!" said Sam in an inappropriate fashion.
"Zer is a air leak in ze upper left ving of ze station. Ve need you to go fix it. Our lives are in your hands."
"Ok." said Sam.

Whilst they briefed Sam on what to do Sam wondered how exciting it would be to be outside in space! This would show his parents who thought that he wouldn't be able to be a real astronaut. And this would show the doctors who "scientifically proved" he was "mentally retarded".

"There will be blood in the water. I hope you're ready." said Vladmir ominously.
"What does that even mean? Our water is in sealed packets and I'm pretty sure they sterilised it before they gave it out to us." said Sam.
Vladmir only shrugged and put the astronaut helmet on Sam's head. And suddenly, Sam was pushed out into the deep abyss that was space.

To be continued....

Ok i actually wrote this over a couple of days because i didnt have time to finish it all in one go. The next instalment will be coming soon.

That is all.

WEDNESDAY

I managed to watch Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Having read the comic series a few weeks ago (and really really liked it), there was one thing about the movie that I didn't really like.

Michael Cera's high pitched voice and awkward movements don't really fit Scott. In the comic he has crazy manga-like expressions and is generally a highly energetic character. So in that way the movie's not completely faithful to the comic. But looking at the movie by itself, it was pretty good.

Another book I read a few weeks ago (and really really liked) that's going to be adapted to film is Jane Eyre. It's getting produced by Focus Features, which is a division of Universal Pictures so it's probably going to be screening in most major cinemas when it comes out. Not that I'll watch it though, because like, who the hell would see it with me.

Here's the trailer:



I'm going to have to agree with whoever wrote the top Youtube comment; that is the worst font I've ever seen in a trailer. The font alone makes a pretty decent trailer look like some shitty fan-made Twilight MV.

Well, that's all I have to write. Gotta get off the computer and let my sister play Maplestory now.

MONDAY

I went driving for the first time today. It was kinda scary because the car went really fast. I got my sister to take a photo:

Hope to drive again soon.

FRIDAY

I returned from my holiday yesterday. After about a month away from home, everything feels unfamiliar and weird but its pretty cool to be back. I spent the day playing flash games and watching movies, which I haven't done for a while so that was good.

I really felt that I learnt a lot of things while on holiday. Seeing the lives of people in a place so different to home can make you aware of the forces that drive your own life. People behave very differently living in places that we would consider to be shitholes. I'm talking mostly about the people I met or saw while in Malaysia.

Also, I learnt that I actually don't like long plane flights. I always thought flying was cool because you'd have that little TV thing to watch during the trip. Well, this time I flew on a 8 hour night time flight from Kuala Lumpur to Gold Coast and it was probably the shittiest flight I've ever had. There was no little TV thing because we flew on AirAsia, which also has shitty seats, making sleep very difficult. On the plus side, all the flight attendants were very attractive. One of them looked a bit like Olivia Wilde which is cool because she's really hot.

My holiday was spent in three different places: Sibu, Kuala Lumpur and Gold Coast.

I pretty much said all I have to say about Sibu in my last post. Here's a picture of Malaysia's uncovered drains which I like to mention so much.

They're actually pretty dangerous because some of them are like 4 metres deep and right next to a walkway without a fence. Also, we went to this really cheap restaurant ($5 for lobster) which served crab with a hammer to crack the shell. These are like, full sized hammers straight out of a construction site or something.

I mentioned before the Malaysian traffic is retarded. Apparently my uncle pays the police an annual bribe so his family don't have to obey traffic laws in Sibu. They get to do stuff like triple parking and going twice the speed limit.

There's not much to do in Sibu. In the five days there, I managed to get three quarters of the way through Jane Eyre (which I really enjoyed, by the way) and almost finished the entire 4th season of Dexter.

Kuala Lumpur was more interesting than Sibu. Being the capital of Malaysia, there's a lot more stuff to do there. Mainly it was shopping though. For some reason, KL is full of shopping centres. According to Wikipedia there's 66 shopping centres in the city alone. They're all really big and have crazy decorations like giant Christmas trees and castles. Some of them have theme parks and market themselves as 'Entertainment Centres'. Everything's really cheap too so we bought a lot of stuff. Also we spent a night at this resort. Pretty nice place. There was a lot of spare time in Kuala Lumpur too so I managed to finish reading Jane Eyre and get halfway throught The Shipping News.

Luckily the Queensland floods didn't affect the Gold Coast but it was raining the whole time we were there. We went to the theme parks, where I sadly realised I didn't enjoy the shows as much as I did as a kid. Movie World was still cool though and the rides were pretty fun. The weather managed to clear up on the last day and we got to go on the beach.

So that's my holiday's so far. I plan to spend the rest of it watching my amazingly long list of movies as well as season five of Dexter.

A Day in the Life of Louie

So some people have been complaining that my posts are getting retarded. So here's a normal post.

Today I woke up at 9.00am. After that i brushed my teeth with an Oral B electronic toothbrush using Colgate Active Plus Toothpaste. I then washed my face using my towel. After this I went and had breakfast which consisted of Kellog's Crunchy Nut Cereal with Dairy Farmer's Full Cream Milk as well as two slices of WonderWhite bread with Sanitarium Peanut Butter on one slice and Nutino Hazelnut Spread on the other. After this I went and did some work. After that I stoned for a while. And after that I talked to myself for a while on the possibility of time travel backwards. Afterwards, I played my Epiphone EL-00 guitar. Soon it was time for lunch. For lunch I had Fantastic Instant Cup of Noodles Beef Flavour. During lunch I also watched an episode of House M.D. After that it was back to some more work, stoning (but no talking to self). I soon got bored of this so I played "Get Back" by Ludacris on my phone while walking around my room like a gangster. After the track ended I played "I Love Tha Pussy" by Alpa Chino and while walking around my room like a gangster. After that I played my Yamaha UX-100 piano. Then it was time for dinner. For dinner I had two slices of WonderWhite bread with Sanitarium peanut butter on one slice and Cottees Blueberry Jam on the other. I put them together to form a peanut butter jelly sandwich. During dinner I watched "That '70s Show". After dinner it was back to work, stoning and talking to myself. After that I logged onto my computer, annoyed Walter for a bit (its actually where i got the inspiration for this blog :D) and I am now sitting here typing up this blog.
Is this normal enough for you?

That is all.

lol

Raymond got me thinking about lol and its variations. Some ppl say lol. then others say lawl. then raymond says lewl. but wat about others like lowl, luwl, lul, liwl, lil, lel and lal? y does no one use these? i think im going to start a new trend by using more variations on lol. and i know as a generaly rule u always follow the 'l' with a vowel but im gangster so i always use variations such as lyl, lywl, lwl, lwwl, lrl, lrwl. oh which reminds me u can also have larl, lorl, lerl, lirl, lurl, lawrl, lewrl, liwrl, lowrl and luwrl. Happy lolling!

That is all.

bOREdOM (or should i say drilldom? hahaha)

I think Vincent gets back today so hopefully things will turn normal pretty soon.

But right now i am extremely bored. when ppl say that they are dieing of boredom, i usually think that it is either a figure of speech or they are exaggerating. i have been proved (or should i say mathematically inducted? hahaha) wrong. u CAN die from boredom. i actually feel physically unwell from boredom (or maib im actually sick? who knows (or shud i say who nose? hahaha (or should i say who ears? hahaha (look at these layers of brackets (like a cake (or an onion (or.... INCEPTION!!!! (maib it should be Bracketion where you go deeper and deeper into the layers of Brackets until finally...(U REACH LIMBO!!! how low can u go, how low can u go?(and then you ride the layers of brackets back up to the surface))))))).

But not only am i physically debilitating, i am also mentally deteriorating. For example, just then when i looked at the wikipedia home page, in the news i saw the Iran Air Flight 277 crashed and the first thing i thought of was "Iran (or should i say Youwalked? hahahaha).

So if i come out of the school holidays slightly retarded (i say slightly because everyone knows you never go full retard. Check it out. Dustin Hoffman Rain Man, look retarded act retarded. Not retarded. Tom Hanks Forrest Gump. Slow, yes. Retarded, maib. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping pong competition. That ain't retarded. Never go full retard) please don't judge me.

That is all.

P.S. if you notice from the Bracketion there are actually less left facing brackets than right facing brackets. Who knows? This might all just be a bracket dun dun duuuuuuuuun

P.P.S. Hey raymond, I'M A LEAD FARMER MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Officeworks (or should i say Gardenrests? hahaha)

So today i went to Officeworks (or should i say Gardenrests? hahaha) and i noticed that it was exactly like a Buy More (or should i say Sell Less? hahaha). I went in and after a while i just started playing solitaire but after like half an hour (i only won one game (or should i say i only one won game hahaha)) i got kicked off by some Nerd Herders (or should i say Geek Sheperders hahaha (or should i say Office workers hahaha)). So after playing solitaire i decided to be like Chuck (or should i say Throw? hahaha) and went looking for the secret entrance for the CIA base (or should i say the public exit for the AIC apex? hahaha). That went on for half an hour. And then it was time to go home. I cant actually remember why we were there now that i think about it.

That is all.

Sad Old Day

Yeh, i've repeated this joke several times to people now but some people havent heard it yet ok? and also Old Day's Adam for yesterday (New Year's Eve geddit?!?! hahaha).

I missed the 9.00 fireworks yesterday because i forgot, but i did watch the midnight ones and i must say i was disappointed. it all started off well, and the fireworks were ok i guess (really seems the same to me every year really), but how come not a single technician thought it would be really funny if the hand on the harbour bridge put up its middle finger???? seriously when i saw that hand the first thought that popped into my head was that there might be a rude finger somewhere along, but nooooooooooo there wasnt and that ruined it for me. Other than that it was pretty good.

That is all.