Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Spy Next Door

Can you remember the old Jackie Chan movies where he used to do all this crazy stuff? Well, his new movie is nothing like that. I mean, he still does stuff that's pretty pro like climbing up walls, but they're in much shorter bursts than before and there's less action. Which is a shame really because all the other stuff like acting, story, plot, direction all suck. Even the outtakes which are sometimes the highlight of the movie are worse now. Instead of showing Jackie Chan getting owned, breaking a leg or doing a cool stunt only to have someone screw up their lines, the outtakes in this movie just show people missing their lines and laughing. Probably the closest thing to a stunt screw up is jackie trying to upright a fallen chair with his foot but failing. And the most jackie ever gets hurt is when a woman pushes a laundry detergent bottle too hard in his chest. This movie should be a sad reminder to everyone that films like the old Jackie Chan movies will never be made again because nobody is crazy enough to do those stupid stunts now that we have the magic of CGI.
On the bright side, this movie still made me smile stupidly at some stuff.
Rating: 1/5

Office quote of the day: All crimes are solved with logic. And the only logical way to find out if Donna is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm and then tell Michael the sad news.

That is all

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