Throwing stuff out

As a child I was always a bit of a hoarder. I kept a weird collection of things I refused to throw away. It's hard to remember what I kept but it included baby teeth, broken toys and random crap that I thought would be useful someday. I kept it all in a stash in my room, ensuring it remained hidden from my very tidy mum.

It was a difficult habit to get out of. At first was the problem of realising what was worth keeping and what was rubbish. It took time to convince myself that empty batteries should just be thrown away. However, many things I kept I knew had no value. I realised I placed a lot of sentimental value on the silliest things. I became attached to clothes that I wore a lot and found myself extremely unwilling to throw them away when they became too old or useless. It made me really sad when I outgrew my pajamas and my mum cut them up and used them as rags.

I guess I anthropomorphise inanimate objects too much. Just yesterday I had to replace my worn out toothbrush. (I will take this opportunity to once again promote oral hygiene. Replace your toothbrush every three months, people!) As I threw it away, I felt bad about disposing this toothbrush which served me well for three months in such an unceremonious manner. Of course, I quickly realised how absurd my feelings were and that inspired me to write this.

I had a few ideas about why I found throwing stuff away so difficult. Perhaps I just feared the passing away of things. Even throwing away an empty pen or plastic bottle, it crosses my mind that I will never see it again. That really worried me. As a child, I was always aware about the transience of life. Even while holding my mum's hand, I imagined that her skin and flesh would one day be a pile of bones underground. Everything inevitably has to go and that was always hard to accept.

Well it seem that what started with a whimsical recount of my hoarding as a child has turned into me shooting the crap about the transience of life. I feel I must apologise for trying to be so d&m all the time for fear of seeming pretentious. But I realise that writing openly can make for more interesting reading. So I promise to stop apologising next time I do this. Thanks for reading.

[Edit: Just realised this is my 300th post. Hooray!]