intermission

I apologise for the lack of blog yesterday. To make up for it, here's an old Walter story. Please keep in mind I wrote this in year 7.

Farmer Walter

Farmer Walter was not a lucky man. He was a farmer and never grew anything. In seven years of farming, all he had harvested was two carrots, a cabbage and a potato he found on the ground. In fact, if it weren't for regular donations from friends, Walter would have starved to death a long time ago.

It was a normal day for Walter. He somehow set a fire alight, putting his house in flames. Using all that was left of his water for irrigation, he put out the fire. Then it rained. None of the water fell into his catchment because he felt the need to build a shelter on it to protect it from the elements. Feeling sleepy, Walter headed for his bedroom, only to realise his house was burnt down. So he slept in his empty dam catchment, which sheltered him from all the elements.

In his dream, Walter was walking around a fancy looking office in a fancy looking suit. He looked around and saw a framed newspaper article, with a large heading reading: "Lucky farmer discovers giant oil well." He scanned down the article and took note of where the oil well was.

Walter awoke, refreshed and excited. In fact, he didn't even notice the dam shelter had collapsed and there was a nice piece of shrapnel wedged in his skull. After crawling out of the dam, Walter ran excitedly to the place where he had remembered the oil to be. He then realised he had no shovel. So he called his dog. Then he realised his dog was died a few months ago, after he got the pesticide pellets and the dog food confused. So he ran to his tool shed- only to realise it was burnt down. Walter was then forced to dig with his hands. But he didn't mind. No. He was going to be rich. Even the germs spreading from the rust on the shrapnel didn't bother him. Now Walter could finally buy everything he wanted.

After several hours of digging, a black car drove up to Walter. It almost hit him, but luckily, it just ran over Walter's cat. A man walked out of the car, giving Walter a raised eyebrow as he stared at his pathetic digging.

"Are you the pathetic owner of this desolate land?" asked the man. "Because I'm willing to buy it for a small price."

Walter considered this for a while and decided to sell all of his land except the patch of land he was digging in. After doing this, he pocketed the cheque and decided to hitchhike to his friend's house to stay for the night.

The next morning, Walter awoke next to a highway. Being the lucky person he was, Walter got noone to actually take him on a ride. Walking his fat body across the roads, he reached the city in an hour, only to realise it was the wrong one, so he took a bus to his friends house.

Of course, this was when he realised he had no money. Sitting outside a television store, he looked at the televisions on display. A woman was on the screen reading a news bulletin:

"Oil has been found today on some land in a rural area."

Walter's heart lept.

"It was found in some land previously owned by a man named Walter."

Walter's heart sank.

"Strangely enough, it was found 2 metres away from the only piece of land that Walter had decided to keep."