intermission

I apologise for the lack of blog yesterday. To make up for it, here's an old Walter story. Please keep in mind I wrote this in year 7.

Farmer Walter

Farmer Walter was not a lucky man. He was a farmer and never grew anything. In seven years of farming, all he had harvested was two carrots, a cabbage and a potato he found on the ground. In fact, if it weren't for regular donations from friends, Walter would have starved to death a long time ago.

It was a normal day for Walter. He somehow set a fire alight, putting his house in flames. Using all that was left of his water for irrigation, he put out the fire. Then it rained. None of the water fell into his catchment because he felt the need to build a shelter on it to protect it from the elements. Feeling sleepy, Walter headed for his bedroom, only to realise his house was burnt down. So he slept in his empty dam catchment, which sheltered him from all the elements.

In his dream, Walter was walking around a fancy looking office in a fancy looking suit. He looked around and saw a framed newspaper article, with a large heading reading: "Lucky farmer discovers giant oil well." He scanned down the article and took note of where the oil well was.

Walter awoke, refreshed and excited. In fact, he didn't even notice the dam shelter had collapsed and there was a nice piece of shrapnel wedged in his skull. After crawling out of the dam, Walter ran excitedly to the place where he had remembered the oil to be. He then realised he had no shovel. So he called his dog. Then he realised his dog was died a few months ago, after he got the pesticide pellets and the dog food confused. So he ran to his tool shed- only to realise it was burnt down. Walter was then forced to dig with his hands. But he didn't mind. No. He was going to be rich. Even the germs spreading from the rust on the shrapnel didn't bother him. Now Walter could finally buy everything he wanted.

After several hours of digging, a black car drove up to Walter. It almost hit him, but luckily, it just ran over Walter's cat. A man walked out of the car, giving Walter a raised eyebrow as he stared at his pathetic digging.

"Are you the pathetic owner of this desolate land?" asked the man. "Because I'm willing to buy it for a small price."

Walter considered this for a while and decided to sell all of his land except the patch of land he was digging in. After doing this, he pocketed the cheque and decided to hitchhike to his friend's house to stay for the night.

The next morning, Walter awoke next to a highway. Being the lucky person he was, Walter got noone to actually take him on a ride. Walking his fat body across the roads, he reached the city in an hour, only to realise it was the wrong one, so he took a bus to his friends house.

Of course, this was when he realised he had no money. Sitting outside a television store, he looked at the televisions on display. A woman was on the screen reading a news bulletin:

"Oil has been found today on some land in a rural area."

Walter's heart lept.

"It was found in some land previously owned by a man named Walter."

Walter's heart sank.

"Strangely enough, it was found 2 metres away from the only piece of land that Walter had decided to keep."

wednesday

today we had the tsunami relief concert where me and tim thought of ways to do really retarded stuff like going on stage to tell the "How to save a life" group to fuck off the stage coz ppl tried to clap them off three times already, as well as trying to start claps and screams, and we just ended up clapping and screaming by ourselves. Oh yeh and tim wet himself today LOLOLOLOL WHAT A BABY CAN'T EVEN SURVIVE WITHOUT HIS NAPPIES.

TUESDAY

Faithful readers be advised. Today's update will be posted very late.

monday

Yay! My very first blog on this blog! So today, as everyone knows, we went to Luna Park. I personally enjoyed the dodgem cars and the wild mouse rides (which happen to be the only ones i went on). I learnt absolutely nothing about this experience except that the food was crazily overpriced ($12 for a crappy burger, some chips and a drink) but definitely didn't learn anything about physics, which was good. It was a good day, just wish that it was cooler and that i went on more rides.

Also, i hate how on hot days when you turn on your cold water tap, the water is hot. I didn't even need to turn on the hot water when showering today.

SATURDAY

I hate Apple very very much.

Well not that much. I just got everything to work now. I got an iPod touch, which I found very hard to put music onto because iTunes kept screwing up for me.

I would also like to point out that this is my 69th post.

THURSDAY

Today I got locked out the house so I had to break in from one of the windows on the second storey because all the ground storey ones were locked shut. My mum started shouting at me for this because she said I was demonstrating how to break into our house to any would-be burglars that happened to be watching me.

I seem to find myself looking forward to next year, even though I shouldn't, what with all the crap I'm going to have to do. There's all the stress of year 11 and my AMus, which I'm going to have to practise like crazy if I want to have any chance of passing in May. But optimism is good so I'll try to stay happy about it.

In bad news today, I think I'm developing a cold.

TUESDAY

It's meant to be that time of year right now where you can not give a shit about anything. Unfortunately that's not entirely the case right now which annoys me because I was really looking to doing nothing.

I watched Citizen Kane a few days ago and I actually found it very entertaining. I usually find older movies hard to follow, especially when there's lots of characters involved but I liked Citizen Kane from start to end.

Anyhow, those looking for some more things to read can go this site.