THURSDAY

A few days ago I was riding my bike and I caught this guy who had just finished peeing in the bushes. It took me a while to realise this because it took a while for me to realise his pants weren't done up and I could see his underwear. I can still remember the funny look on his face when we made eye-contact.

I had a terrible first day of school because I accidentally cut a hole in my pants. There was this lump of loose thread that really pissed me off all day because I kept feeling it. So I tried to cut it off with my scissors but ended up snipping my pants. My mum called me a retard in chinese when I asked her to sew it up. :(

wednesday

on tuesday, it was my mums birthday so i decided to bake a cake for her. But my oven was broken so i had to use the grille (the ovens been broken for years). So, while i put the cake in the grille, i decided to watch a tennis match (federer FTW). Soon after, my olfactory senses detected a burning odour in the room, and so when i went into the kitchen to check on the cake, it was a TOWERING INFERNO of fire and flames and burnt cake. Ok i exaggerate, there was a tiny flame coming out of the top of cake, and the cake itself was quite brown (ok it was black). Anyway, i chucked the cake in the sink and extinguished the flame. And nobody had any cake at all.

Also, to top off the holidays, i watched THE DARK KNIGHT again.

The first day of school was pretty good but the best part of the day was when Kevin told me how he saw on the news that there is this 70 yr old guy who runs 60km each day and 60km back home. I'm not sure if it's true but it is pretty funny.

Office quote of the day: Nuk nuk nuk

That is all

monday

i have just discovered something that could change the face of the earth. In Star Wars Episode III Obi Wan Kenobi says: Only a Sith deals in absolutes. But in Episode V Yoda says: There is only yes or no, no maybe. Does this mean that Yoda is a Sith?!?!?!?! The whole fabric of the space time continuum could be destroyed!!!!

On related note, I'm watching the Hewitt v Federer match, and I must say that i would never ever pay for a match with Federer with it because those matches are so short, it must feel like a rip.

Office quote of the day: As I watched Pam's big strong hand coming toward my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And... I'm happy and I'm rich and I never die. That doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.

That is all

sunday

yay! good news everyone! the office is back on us television. the bad news is that the first episode was a recap and is not available for download yet. and the next episode comes out on the first day of school.

Office quote of the day: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But--

That is all

SATURDAY

No blog today. I'm just posting this because I want the archive to look neat.

I doubt anyone reading this has an attention span that could last them longer than three sentences anyway.

friday

i watched toy story 1&2 tomorrow. as in today. which is saturday. but i should be typing this on friday. hence i watched it tomorrow. yes i did watch it by myself. but the cinema was rather empty so i didnt have to sit next to weirdos. and the movie was in THREE DIMENSIONS which was really cool.

Office quote of the day: Verry gut

That is all

THURSDAY

Kill Bill is a pretty cool movie.

wednesday

yes, once i again i forgot to blog so now here is a post a day late. i dont have much to say except that i'm extremely bored during the holidays. but its not as bad as being at school bored. I recently watched Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, which was really funny. A guy kicks a dog off a bridge.

Office quote of the day: Boom roasted!

That is all

TUESDAY

(Posted after midnight, so technically it's Wednesday)

I've finished Borderlands and don't really want to play it again so I've decided to spend the rest of my spare time in the holidays watching movies. I managed to watch the LOTR trilogy which was pretty cool.

monday

sorry i haven't posted for so long but i havent been able to use the computer due to my father's extensive use, which also prevented me from charging my ipod and posting from there.

On another note, i watched lock stock and two smoking barrels as well as the hurt locker and sin city all of which were pretty good.
I dont have much to say so i'll just quote some random facts:
The dot above an "i" is called a tittle
Polar bears are left handed
Male fruitflies have toxic chemicals in their seminal fluid to inhibit the sperm of other males

Office quote of the day: Bears eat beets.

That is all

SUNDAY

Has any of these things happened to anyone else?

- You're walking on a really empty street but there's one person on it you're about to walk into. So you cross the road to avoid having to exchange some sort of greeting with them without being rude. Unfortunately they cross the road too so you have to either say hi or cross the road and never look back.

- You're with a bunch of friends having some kind of conversation and for some reason you haven't said a word the whole time. Inside, you're thinking "wouldn't it be so impressive if I just spoke now and it was an amazingly witty and insightful statement." Unfortunately, by the time the conversation appears to die down, you still can't think of anything to say so you just blurt out something completely random and hope everyone laughs because it's silly. Too bad noone laughs; not even fake pity laughs because it's so devoid of humour.

- (Guys only) You're in a public toilet using the urinal and for some reason nothing comes out, though you were busting like crazy a few moments ago. After a minute or so, you feel awkward so you flush the urinal, wash your hands, exit the toilet, wait half a minute then re-enter to try again.

FRIDAY

A short blog today. I got called again by some guy who found my number in Luna Park.

Me: Hello?
Stranger: Hi! I saw your number written on the post in Luna Park.
Me: Yeah?
Stranger: Are you gay?
Me: Do you want me to be?
Stranger: Yes! I love you!
Me: Sorry dude, you're too late. Some other guy called earlier.
Stranger: Fuck, I'm jealous. -hangs up-


Raymond, wherever you are in some crappy hole in China, stocktaking your cheaply bought goods and reuniting with seldom seen relatives, I'd like to say you're an ass.

THURSDAY

People who see me a lot may notice my face randomly twitches. Well I blame this on the discomfort of wearing glasses, which will be fixed tomorrow when I get contacts again (for free!).

It might be a bit late but I'd like to wish you all a happy new year. Let us now reflect on the great things that happened last year:

- 2009 was the International Year of Natural Fibres! I bet very few people knew that.

- Susan Boyle! Also known as the hairy angel.


- Inglourious Basterds. Wunderbar!
- The woman who dropped her baby in front of a train was pretty cool. Anyone who thinks that the baby wasn't that lucky should take note of this asian guy who did the same thing and died.

- This isn't really great but Michael Jackson died.

- Last but not least, Dennis Ferguson at the beach.



Two thumbs up!

Wednesday

I am now also typing my blogs on my iPod. Yes I do have an ipod. Anyway, I just watched Bruno and it is the most retarded movie ever. There are so many penises in the movie and it's not quite as funny as borat. I am extremely bored at home and have resorted to looking for that's what she said moments on facebook by searching for hard and variations of the word big as you may know already.
Btw Bruno strangely reminds me of falko because they are both effeminate and are Austrian.

Office quote of the day: one day michael came in complaining about a speed bump. I wonder who he ran over then... (best I could do off the top of my head)

TUESDAY

If anyone would like to buy me the comic I posted previously (Action Comics 1), it only costs roughly $1.39 million in near mint condition. I wouldn't mind Detective Comics 27 either, the first Batman comic which you can get for $1.38 million.

I wish my dad collected comics instead of stamps when he was young. At 10c to $1.38 million that's a 13799900% profit for all money invested. Realistically assuming my dad got $1 a week and that Detective Comics #27 was available for purchase an entire month, my dad could have become a very rich multi-millionaire. Then I could become Batman.

To end this post on a positive note, I have recently become a fan of women's tennis.

monday

sorry for the late post, but i've just been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum, the best game ever. anyway, some random 21 yr old chick called mindy from paris added me on msn. Unlike vincent's story, i have no explanation as i have never been to paris nor know any 21 yr olds. so i have blocked and deleted her. no further 21 year old Parisians have contacted me since.

Office quote of the day: What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went-- I once went twenty-eight years without having sex. And then again for seven years.

That is all

SATURDAY

I answered my phone yesterday to this completely random guy who just went "Holy shit!" to a background of laughing people and then suddenly hung up. The explanation of this is that Raymond wrote my phone number on a wall in Luna Park saying "Alex likes cock". I've been harrassed over the few weeks with random texts and phone calls.

Watched Black Hawk Down today and it's a pretty good movie about, among other things, why war sucks.

friday

Yes, i know its not actually friday but i forgot ok? That's the problem with holidays, you lose track of time. In my case i think its a very long weekend, so i think everyday is either a saturday or sunday, until i remember what the day really is because of whats on tv. Ahhh.. tv, where would mankind be without it? My holidays have been extremely boring and tedious, with nothing better to do other than play psp, batman, imagine being batman, watching movies and watching tv. I have not exited my home in quite a while and feel quite lonely, but then i realise i am never lonely with tv around. God/Buddha/Vishnu/Zeus/Other gods bless tv.

Office quote of the day:
(Michael needs to declare bankruptcy so that he can get out of debt)
Michael Scott:[screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY

That is all

THURSDAY

Hello faithful reader. I assume you must spend a good deal of time on the internet in the holidays. That's ok. We all have our ways of passing the time. Some of us choose to expand our social wealth, attending social gatherings to meet new people. For those without the option, perhaps you can complete something you've never had the time to do. A book, a tv series, a video game. There are many ways to have a nice relaxful rest from school and I'm sure that they're all equally as good (with the exception of course, to those doing tutoring work and whatnot).

Today I spent a good amount of time adding album art to all my mp3 files and it was quite exhilarating to go through a well fleshed out cover flow on my iPod. Unfortunately there's a large cesspool of badly tagged songs that missed out on being album-arted but that's work for another day.

I also started reading some really old Superman comics. How cool is this:


That's all I have to say about that.

wednesday

Apologies for not blogging for so long, but i will probably make up for it with an extra extra long post some time in the future. On another note, i am completely up to date with all of my tv shows i.e. The Office (finished watching seasons 3-5 in the holidays) Glee and Top Gear. Although i haven't watched season 5 of House yet so maybe not up to date with ALL of my tv shows.

Office quote of the Day:
Michael: I'm sensitive to gays alright? I watch the L word and Queer as F***.
Jan: That's not what it's called.

That is all

TUESDAY

I missed a lot during the past 11 days. I went on a plane to New Zealand on Christmas which meant that not only was my Christmas spent on a plane, it was also cut short by 2 hours due to differing time zones. I also was asleep when the new year came in, which hasn't happened in a while. Louie also seems to have taken over my blog and ruined my neat titles of days spelt in capital letters. Moving on.

My family do some pretty cheap things on holidays. Like many, they know how to completely forage a hotel room for free coffee, soap, stationery and cutlery. But there's other things like going to a cafe, using their tables and chairs to have lunch and buying one little cup of coffee so we don't get kicked off. Then there's pretending I'm five years younger so I can get child tickets for stuff, which usually works and can save hundreds. We also went to some pick-your-own orchard and ate at least twice as many cherries as we picked. To save money when holidaying with family friends, we will squash at least three people on a double bed and sleep on the sofas to rent as few rooms as possible.

Sometimes you wonder what's the actual point of going overseas. The majority of the time we were either in a car or watching tv in the motel. We spent one night just going out to see a film. We could have done all of this in Australia.

Of course the holiday was actually fun and New Zealand actually looks as good as it does in Lord of the Rings. (Louie: I saw Mount Doom :D)

Please note this was written very late on my iPod so I apologise for any lack of coherency.

Best Movies of the Decade

No, not this decade, the past decade.

10. Superman Returns - Probably what got me and Vincent into superheroes and stuff.
9. Kung Fu Hustle - Ultimate combination of action and comedy
8. Batman Begins - Reinvented the whole Batman franchise.
7. Avatar - Really cool film with awesome special effects
6. The Bourne Ultimatum - The best of the Bourne movies
5. Borat - VERY NICE!!!
4. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - Epic battles, and Frodo and Sam finally realise their feelings for each other. What more can you want for a movie.
3.The Departed - Awesome movie adapted from an awesome Chinese movie
2.Up - Great movie, the best from Pixar
1. The Dark Knight - What else were you expecting? Absolutely perfect film.